Big Fat Fraidy Cat!
In addition to the constant pain and stiffness in my left knee (apparently I have a loose calcium body in there and will have to get it removed in a 15-20 minute surgery), I'm also experiencing some discomfort in my left shoulder whenever I raise it above shoulder level. So I went to get an MRI done on my left shoulder last night.
But I am a borderline claustrophobe. I think it originated when I was in preschool or kindergarten when some of my playmates trapped me in a cardboard box and wouldn't let me out. Anyways, I've always had some discomfort in tight spaces. When I had an MRI done on my knee about 9-10 years ago prior to my first ACL reconstruction surgery, I entered the MRI tube feet first and I didn't know how far they were going to stick me in so I started to really tense up when the edge of the machine got to my head level cuz I thought my head was going in too. Luckily, they left my head out of the machine and I was okay.
Oh by the way, for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, a MRI machine is a tube like thing where they stick you in so that they can take magnetic photos of your inside. The space is really narrow (especially for a big guy like me) and kind of looks like this:
But since yesterday's MRI was for my shoulder I had to go in head first. I could already feel myself getting nervous while driving to the hospital. I gave myself a 50/50 chance of being able to go through with it. Honestly. They let you play a CD while you're in the MRI tube since it takes about 30 minutes so I handed the technician my music (Heart's Greatest Hits!) and laid down on the table. I was already breathing deeply and tensing up. The technician said that it's actually bigger than it looks inside and that there's really about a foot of space above your head once you're in.
So they slowly slide me into the tube of death and it's narrow plus my body is big so my arms are already pushed up against the sides of the machine. Not hard, but I can feel the walls on my arms. I keep my eyes closed and breathe deep, concentrating on "Magic Man" and "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You". The tech had given me an emergency button to press if I started to freak out and I was clenching that thing tightly.
The first 5-10 minutes were absolute torture. I didn't dare open my eyes lest I see the upper wall of the tube a mere inches from my face. A foot, my ass! I tried to think of all kinds of activities to keep my mind occupied. Stuff like playing golf, going to the beach, and hiking were most prominent. Activities you do in wide open spaces. I even found myself doing the times table for about a minute or two! Anything to keep my mind off of where I really was. But still, I kept feeling like I couldn't breathe and that I would never be able to escape. It was not a pleasurable feeling.
Those first 10 minutes felt like an eternity. I was tempted to push the "freak out" button at least 5-6 times but stopped myself from being a panty and just told myself to "handle"!. But I actually ended up pushing it once by mistake, probably cuz I was so tense and the tech asked me if I was okay and I told him yeah.
But after the first 10 minutes, I seemed to relax a little more. I got into the music and lipsynced along. After about 3 songs, the tech said that he would cut my time down and that there were only 7 minutes left. Yeah right! After he told me that, 3 full songs went by which was at least 10 minutes.
So after what seemed like an eternity, they finally let me out of that coffin. I felt like I was resurrected. Even the artificial air in the room tasted sweeter. I had made it! I really doubted myself but somehow I made it through and I was really proud of myself for not "pussying" out of it, for lack of a better word. I guess it all comes down to the power of the mind!
But I am a borderline claustrophobe. I think it originated when I was in preschool or kindergarten when some of my playmates trapped me in a cardboard box and wouldn't let me out. Anyways, I've always had some discomfort in tight spaces. When I had an MRI done on my knee about 9-10 years ago prior to my first ACL reconstruction surgery, I entered the MRI tube feet first and I didn't know how far they were going to stick me in so I started to really tense up when the edge of the machine got to my head level cuz I thought my head was going in too. Luckily, they left my head out of the machine and I was okay.
Oh by the way, for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, a MRI machine is a tube like thing where they stick you in so that they can take magnetic photos of your inside. The space is really narrow (especially for a big guy like me) and kind of looks like this:
But since yesterday's MRI was for my shoulder I had to go in head first. I could already feel myself getting nervous while driving to the hospital. I gave myself a 50/50 chance of being able to go through with it. Honestly. They let you play a CD while you're in the MRI tube since it takes about 30 minutes so I handed the technician my music (Heart's Greatest Hits!) and laid down on the table. I was already breathing deeply and tensing up. The technician said that it's actually bigger than it looks inside and that there's really about a foot of space above your head once you're in.So they slowly slide me into the tube of death and it's narrow plus my body is big so my arms are already pushed up against the sides of the machine. Not hard, but I can feel the walls on my arms. I keep my eyes closed and breathe deep, concentrating on "Magic Man" and "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You". The tech had given me an emergency button to press if I started to freak out and I was clenching that thing tightly.
The first 5-10 minutes were absolute torture. I didn't dare open my eyes lest I see the upper wall of the tube a mere inches from my face. A foot, my ass! I tried to think of all kinds of activities to keep my mind occupied. Stuff like playing golf, going to the beach, and hiking were most prominent. Activities you do in wide open spaces. I even found myself doing the times table for about a minute or two! Anything to keep my mind off of where I really was. But still, I kept feeling like I couldn't breathe and that I would never be able to escape. It was not a pleasurable feeling.
Those first 10 minutes felt like an eternity. I was tempted to push the "freak out" button at least 5-6 times but stopped myself from being a panty and just told myself to "handle"!. But I actually ended up pushing it once by mistake, probably cuz I was so tense and the tech asked me if I was okay and I told him yeah.
But after the first 10 minutes, I seemed to relax a little more. I got into the music and lipsynced along. After about 3 songs, the tech said that he would cut my time down and that there were only 7 minutes left. Yeah right! After he told me that, 3 full songs went by which was at least 10 minutes.
So after what seemed like an eternity, they finally let me out of that coffin. I felt like I was resurrected. Even the artificial air in the room tasted sweeter. I had made it! I really doubted myself but somehow I made it through and I was really proud of myself for not "pussying" out of it, for lack of a better word. I guess it all comes down to the power of the mind!
posted by Myong Choi at 8:50 AM
4 Comments:
Heh. You're no "'fraidy cat," Myong. Doin' the right thing there. I knew someone who thought a minor irritation on ankle was a mere blister, got it checked out and . . . boy, was it EVER a bigger deal than a blister.
And, some lumps don't hurt. Still, might be good to check if they linger, I suppose.
Oh, hah hah, I get why you listed to Heart's music while undergoing MRI treatment. Oh, the delectability of that pun-ness!
Myong,
Good thing you can still reach below shoulder level...
Been there, done that... Not to brag, but I fell asleep in that thing once. No music or anything. Same thing usually happens when I get a massage. In a way, either way, I feel ripped off because it feels like no time passes by. I wonder what would happen if I got "value-added services" from one of those massage places around Kaheka Street (and would they give me a freakout buzzer)?
Orbs
Hi fellow MRI'er. I pressed the button and told them to come and get me because I had to use the bathroom. I definitely had claustrophobia and sang Doc Wa Choomul 100 x's. Hope things are A-OK!
Oops it's me Unnie who posted above message.
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